Had my confidence badly shaken this weekend as regards my writing. It worked out in the end, at least I hope so. But it was a wake up call.
Dealing with loss of confidence has always been a problem with writing. I tend to skate high above these sorts of things, but when faced with my artistic and technical limitation in such a blatant and shocking way, it takes me aback and I start to doubt my own ability.
I think writers often wrestle with this kind of personal failure. It’s one thing to deal with rejections, missed opportunities, and what not. That’s baked into this profession and if you don’t learn to deal with those setbacks early on you never will find success.
But when the limiting factor is yourself, and when you had no one but yourself to depend on in the first place….it’s shocking.
No one holds myself to a higher standard than myself, especially when it comes to my writing. No one.
My feet still feel as if they are on shifting sand. It was one hell of a wake up call. I think it will be okay at least to the point the problem will be corrected.
But I cannot help but feel I failed myself in some fundamental way.
Hoover's Corner 
I remember having one of those aha moments when talking to Mike Resnick. I was admitting that I generally don’t send my stories off. He asked me (paraphrasing), “Are you a writer or an editor?” I replied that I’m a writer, to which he responded, “Well, you’re making editorial decisions. You’re deciding that your stories are not good enough. You’re also giving the story it’s harshest rejection possible. Rejecting stories not your job. That’s an editors job. And unlike you an editor does not reject everything they read.” It’s great advice and not just for writing but also for many things in life where we hold ourselves back.
thanks!
My friend, I too just underwent a shredding of my abilities and talent, I almost tossed in the towel. But, you know what I learned from it? I learned that I can’t give up. Here is the why…and it applies to you as well. You touch people, with your stories, with your presence. That alone makes it a worthy pursuit. I think if you let the doubt and fear and worry stop you then you have failed yourself for sure. (((Hugs))) Keep going, chin up, I think you’ve got this. 🙂